Archive for May, 2012

This Dating App That Just Raised $22 Million Is About To Take Over The World.

Skout, a mobile application for flirting and dating, is already growing like crazy.
But CEO Christian Wikilund has much, much higher aspirations than just a dating app — he wants to build a global network on the scale of Facebook and Twitter.
Right now, it looks like he’s on track — Skout is adding 40,000 to 50,000 new users on the app every single day.
What does he have planned? We caught up with him to find out — here’s what we learned:

• Dating and flirting actually only comprises about 20 percent of Skout’s use cases. Most use it to just meet new friends — though that’s based on a survey, which is a little self-selecting, he said.

• They spend a ton of effort keeping the app clean. Every picture has to be reviewed four times to make sure Skout doesn’t become the next “ChatRoulette” and be a database of nude photos.

• One pivot later, Skout raised $22 million and is ready to grow, well, everywhere. The app already has huge user bases in some international cities, but it’s planning on expanding to just about every international market out there.

Here’s a full, lightly-edited transcript of the conversation:BUSINESS INSIDER: So, start from the top. How did you guys get off the ground?

Sara Khan dating Veena Malik’s ex beau Ashmit Patel?

Sara Khan and Ashmit Patel had gained immense popularity the season 4 of Bigg Boss. The duo seem getting closer by the day, but this proximity went kaput when Veena Malik entered the picture. The Pakistani starlet’s flirtatious ways with Ashmit Patel created a rift between Sara and Ashmit.
After Bigg Boss 4, Veena and Ashmit tried to be together for sometime, but things didn’t work for them. Also, earlier Sara was weathering a troubled relationship with her ex-husband Ali Merchant. But now, Sara and Ashmit are back in the frame of love with their new untitled film, to be directed by Vinod Chhabra. And reportedly, the chemistry between the two seems like a house on fire.
As per close source, the two have an amazing chemistry not only on screen, but also off screen. As per onlookers, the duo like spending time with each other. They share ideas and views about the script and are always by each other’s side. They are also seen in a suburban night club partying together.
Well, it’s time to see if they’ll make the most of this opportunity.

Steven Lopez and his “Choice”

For all that Steven Lopez has accomplished in taekwondo, winning two Olympic gold medals and five world championships, his younger sister Diana describes his approach to women with one word: “shy.” So perhaps that’s why it was such a surprise he agreed to participate in the upcoming Fox reality dating show, “The Choice.”
The show, which will air this summer, features Lopez, Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, Rob Kardashian and actor/comedian Finesse Mitchell listening to a group of women who hope to persuade the bachelors to choose them for a date.
“They tell you what you want to hear, and if you like what you hear, you turn the chair around and pick the girl,” said Lopez, whom People Magazine dubbed one of America’s 50 hottest bachelors in 2004.
Lopez said he was pleased with his choice when he turned around and went on a date with the woman, but nothing materialized. “She lives in New York,” the Houston resident said.
All in all, Lopez said it was an entertaining experience that again reminded him how unusual it is to be recognized for his looks as much as his talent.
“It’s strange,” he said. “I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears and sacrificed so much to get on top the podium and it’s like, ‘You’re on People’s 50 most beautiful bachelors, how does that feel?’”
Added Diana: “He gets mothers who come up to him and they’re like, ‘Oh, you’d be perfect for my daughter. Can you sign this for me?’ It’s hilarious.”

‘Hunger Games’? Reality dating shows? All fair game at Summit.

Archery has never been exactly what you would call a big spectator sport in America, but it might get a little more attention at the Olympics thanks to two recent Hollywood blockbusters. First, there was “The Hunger Games,” in which young heroine Katniss Everdeen relies on her skills with the bow and arrow. Then, there was “The Avengers,” with the archer Hawkeye on the team of superheroes.
“It’s been huge for archery,” Olympic gold-medal hopeful Brady Ellison said. “I know archery shops across the U.S. are sold out in everything. A lot of my friends who run archery shops say they have to turn people away. It has been huge for us in just the exposure of people wanting to try it. I just hope and pray those people won’t just try it and leave. Hopefully we’ll get a little percentage of those people shooting competitions with us.”
“It’s having a dramatic effect on our sport,” U.S. archer Jennifer Nichols said. “We’ve had such an increase in interest as well as spectator base. We’re really excited going into the Olympic Games having such an explosion not only in focus on our sport but in effect.”
Ellison said he hasn’t seen either movie but has viewed clips and Internet postings. “I really want to see ‘The Avengers,’” he said. “There’s been this post on my Facebook and on different websites comparing my form to Hawkeye’s form and the differences. And one of the quotes is, ‘Does Hawkeye have the worst archery form in history?’
“Any movie that portrays archery is a good thing, and your average person who doesn’t watch archery won’t notice the difference, but to every archer who shoots? Movies drive us nuts. ‘Robin Hood’ with Russell Crowe, he shoots OK. ‘The Hunger Games’ girl, she looks like a target archer, so that’s good. Hawkeye? He’s portraying archery, and that’s good, but as far as you want to go technically and critique his form? Maybe not the best.”
There is a reason Jennifer Lawrence shows good form as Everdeen in “The Hunger Games.” She was trained by Olympic medalist Khatuna Lorig. “The form is incredibly similar to the way I shoot,” Nichols said.
So could Nichols shoot an apple out of the mouth of a roasted pig amid a crowded dining room? “It would depend on the distance, but I think I could handle that,” she said.

Rihanna topless in ‘Where Have You Been’ video shoot

Man, Rihanna did it again by going topless in a video shoot! RiRi even shared behind the scenes pictures on Facebook of the Where Have You Been video that showed her sans a top.
Robyn Fenty (real name) can Talk the Talk and walk it as well, with the release of a new track and video. And just to show you how committed she is to bringing fresh media content — and shock — to her fans, she shared this photo with fans on May 12.
The topless picture of Rihanna in the video shoot shows some strategically-placed body paint on her “girls gone wild” pair. However, she left nothing to the imagination, as she is nearly in the buff, citing a Hollywood Life report.
Nonetheless, she can always be counted on for driving publicity around an album or video release. This latest buzz is no exception.
The Where Have You Been video shoot with Rihanna depicts a lush jungle scene with a tribal feel. It has the singer seductively coming out of a body of water, where she writhes around on the ground a bit. And as an added bonus, Rihanna actually does an extended dance scene reminiscent of Janet and Britney choreography. Imagine that?
All of Rihanna’s topless video shoot images can be seen here on Facebook.
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WWE Dating Advice: The Single Man’s Guide and Game to Finding Love as a Fan.

Life is full of funny moments that should always be appreciated. Moments that capture the human spirit and set fire to your soul when the perfect moment and the perfect source of humor collide and explode within you like an atom bomb. A good joke, pets being pets, watching someone trip and fall, watching Sin Cara wrestle, someone falling up a case of stairs, sports bloopers, and everyday, mundane life accidents. These are all moments that when paired with the right company, timing, and sarcastic commentary can ignite laughter in even the most pessimistic person.
Life may be full of funny moments, but it’s sure as hell full of moments that aren’t funny to you, but definitely hilarious to others around you. These moments are notoriously known as awkward moments.
You know, like that awkward moment when you tell someone you watch and/or write about professional wrestling…
Such was the case this weekend when a newly, begrudgingly single William Gullo told an attractive female at a local “watering hole” that he did just that.
The female in question didn’t really have much of a response when I informed her about this particular hobby of mine. Not only did she not seem to care, seem impressed, or even remotely crack a smile, but she came off as a little disgusted, as if I had said something that truly offended her.

Have you ever stared into the eyes of someone and immediately thought “Yep, I’m being judged right now”? That rush of anxiety when you realize the person staring at you might have just lost all their respect for you? It’s not like I told her I was a meth dealer whose main office was located behind the playground of an elementary school. It’s not like I told her she could stand to lose a couple of pounds, or that I thought her friend looked like she got smacked around with the “ugly stick”. Why was this female all of a sudden this disgusted with me?

Has professional wrestling developed such a stigma that even briefly mentioning it in passing now gets you labeled, looked down upon, and condemned in the eyes of females? This had to be an isolated incident, right? There’s no way that every female has a repressed grudge against professional wrestling. I know female wrestling writers exist. I know female fans exist. But, they usually only exist within the small sample size of the online wrestling community, or can only be found at actual events.

When this particular female left my table, after I had apparently just murdered any interest she had in me, the first face I saw was the face of my friend who had the biggest smile I have ever seen.

My Friend: I can’t believe you told her you write about professional wrestling. You just came right out with that didn’t you? For your sake maybe you should just let people get to know you before you tell them about that particular passion. It’s hilariously clear that wrestling is definitely frowned upon in the female community. Thanks for the laugh though! That was priceless.

Is wrestling that frowned upon within the female community? Can enjoying professional wrestling really be that bad? In a world full of materialistic, shallow, stereotypical television, music, movies, and social media platforms, is wrestling really that big of a social no-no? Would I have been better off telling her I spend my free time going to the gym, tanning, and doing laundry?

Tell any guy that you watch, read, or write about professional wrestling and you’ll most likely get the same responses.Responses that range from “cool” to rehashing old memories of the sport when they watched as kids. Even if they have no memories of watching, more than likely they at least know names like Hogan, Austin, and The Rock. They’ll know enough to find common ground on the subject, but even if they were never a fan and lived under a rock, at least judging you is the last thing that will happen.

What makes wrestling so unattractive to females?

It’s an age old dilemma in the lives of professional wrestling aficionados. How can I successfully convey to and adapt my significant other to the world of professional wrestling? It took me a good, solid year to finally get my last girlfriend to understand, appreciate, watch, and enjoy the WWE. Now, I have to relive the whole process over with a new person! They weren’t kidding when they said breaking up is hard to do.

I began to wonder how many girls at this particular establishment were actually fans of wrestling and how I could go about finding out who was and who wasn’t…

This whole subject got me and my friend to thinking, and like any responsible single males would do in this situation, we decided to experiment with this topic. Over the course of several hours we proceeded to casually and randomly ask multiple groups of females their opinions on professional wrestling. We told them we were writing an article on the subject at first, but as the answers became more and more stereotypical, bizarre, and asinine, we quickly turned it into a game that I’m sure every self-respecting single male, who enjoys wrestling, should play at some point. Just trust me on this.

Here’s a brief summary of the rules:

How to play: Find a friend/wingman who has past or present knowledge of the WWE product. While approaching females use the following scoring system to mentally remember your score as you try to have a coherent conversation with the respective females. The first “player” to reach ten points wins the round. First to win three rounds wins the game.Got completely ignored when you started the conversation with “Did you see Raw last week”? 2 pointsUse a wrestling catchphrase during your conversation? 1 point per phrase. I almost died when I heard my friend respond with, “Woo, woo, woo, you know it” when asked if he lived in the area.Recap the latest news, rumors, and wrestling gossip without being asked? 2 points.Told them all about your days of backyard wrestling, your character, finishing move, and entrance music? 5 points.This might sound like an exercise in frustration or a game designed to make sure you never date anyone ever again, but the truth is, it actually worked…a little. Alright, it briefly works until you start getting cocky and competitive and forget why you started playing in the first place, but it works.I actually found actual females who had just the same amount of passion as I did. Whether their brothers, dads, or grandfathers watched it, they understood and appreciated the love I have for professional wrestling. I was 0-4 with four strikeouts at one point, but eventually you’ll hit a home run, or at least hit a single.Listen, let’s all be honest with each other. If you’re reading this than you’re probably an above average to mildly obsessed fan of professional wrestling. It’s in your blood. You love it, those around you know you love it, and anyone else who comes into your life will at some point have to deal with your passion. It’s only inevitable that wrestling will get in the way of certain plans.

There’s four hours of weekly programming, monthly pay-per-views, and God only knows how much extra online content you can sniff out if you really wanted to. You can’t hide your love for wrestling forever, so you might as well come straight out with the truth. You’re not trying to define yourself with your passion for wrestling, but you certainty shouldn’t have to live within a cloud of shame about it either.
Don’t let anybody fool you into thinking honesty is the best policy. Sometimes a little discretion or white lie goes a long way, but when it comes to finding love, your best bet is to be an open book. No secrets usually equals no drama. Being a professional wrestling fan comes with a certain stigma for whatever reason so it’s completely understandable why one would feel timid about displaying that initially, but it’s the right thing to do in this situation.
Fact is, do you really want to date someone who can’t even understand or appreciate your passions? Why keep something that is a big part of your life hidden? Express your love for wrestling…to a certain extent.
This brings us to the first rule: Know when you’re being the “creepy wrestling guy”...
If this “game” taught me and my friend anything, it’s when to slow your roll on your love, knowledge, or anything relating to wrestling. There comes a certain moment when you go from being a likeable male with a passion and hobby, to being the guy who won’t stop talking about how Brock Lesnar should have won at Extreme Rules.
This also directly relates to another valuable rule to follow: Show them that it’s a passion and hobby…
Everyone has a passion for something and enjoys doing something. Sure, you might run into a person who judges, demeans, and is condescending towards your own likes, but that person is probably going to wind up divorced and lonely at some point, so the joke’s on them. Pay no attention to these people.

Eventually you’ll find someone who may not like wrestling, but will at least appreciate your passion, enthusiasm, and commitment. These feelings generally translate well into other characteristics that are the foundations for a successful relationship, such as trust, compassion, understanding, and empathy.
The third rule is something I think needs to be said because it can immediately train wreck any conversation based solely on the fact that you might sound like a crazy person.
Rule number three? Don’t try to initially sell the whole “wrestling is art” thing right off the bat…
Only a select group of individuals understand that concept as it is. It’s only designed for those who have seen the magic in action and know what to watch and listen for. It’s like telling someone who just barely passed algebra how easy it is to find the co-sign of tangent squared. I had to painfully watch as my friend tried to explain to a girl how exactly wrestling was like a masterpiece painting. It ended with her confused and uninterested, with him desperately trying to gain her attention back as well as spouting off a few last minute catchphrases to up his point total before she walked away.
What about those stereotypical and bizarre answers we received that originally drove us to create the game? The following is the list of reasons why females don’t like wrestling according to females.
1. Men wrestling each other in tights.
2. Steroid use.
3. It’s to0 fake and campy.
4. They sell sex.
5. Just don’t understand why men like it.
With a list like this it’s easy to see why it’s so hard to come clean about how much joy you get from watching grown men in tights wrestle, use steroids, and fake fight each other.

There’s about a handful more that were more poignant, albeit highly inappropriate, reasons why this certain sample size of females didn’t like wrestling. This list, to those who enjoy wrestling, is obviously filled with lapses in logic, a lot of hypocrisy, and uniformed statements of facts, along with a touch of homophobia. We pretty much received the standard answers we thought we would get. Hence the game to make things more interesting, not to mention hilarious.
Is this game dumb? Yes, most definitely. Are me and my friend idiots for trying this? Probably. Does the game somehow work? Absolutely!
As the taxi carried us away from the scene of our epic night—a night filled with meeting lovely girls, drinks and talking profusely about wrestling—we could only talk about one thing. They exist!
Hidden amongst all the perfume, fake hair extensions, makeup, vodka tonics, leggings, furry boots, and short skirts lies an awesome truth. A truth that was only found after we became numb to the blunt sting of rejection, the burn of dirty looks, and the rush of anxiety when we knew we had just lost all of our respect. The truth is that females who share or will at least understand and allow you to express your passion for wrestling exist.
We left that night walking amongst the gods. We bravely threw ourselves into the sea and swam with sharks and not only survived, but now possessed valuable data on how exactly to approach women when it comes to professional wrestling. What had started out as a social experiment, ended up turning into one of the greatest life lessons of all time.
The final and most vital rule for you to remember is simple, but it takes awhile for people to realize just how simple it is. The final rule? Be yourself, hide nothing, and always remember your passions in life. If someone honestly doesn’t like you because they hold some weird grudge against wrestling, than you’re most likely better off without them.
The game is good. The game is absolute. The game is life.

Smash will finally be answering the season-long question of who will be playing Marilyn Monroe—Ivy (Megan Hilty) or Karen (Katharine McPhee)—in the NBC hit’s season finale tonight. We just caught up with stars Hilty, Debra Messing and Christian Borle at NBC’s upfront presentation in New York to discuss all things finale and the show’s new showrunner for season two. Oh, and Megan addressed the rumors that she’s dating Smash guest star Nick Jonas. (Plus, she kind of reveals who wins the role of Marilyn to us. No big deal!)
So what can we expect from tonight’s sure-to-be showstopping finale? Here’s what Debra, Megan and Christian had to share with us…

Yes, she’s talking about costar Jack Davenport, who plays director Derek, and yes, she’s kidding. While she wouldn’t spill on who’s donning the infamous Marilyn wig, Megan teases, “There are a lot of cliffhangers, and one number in particular is going to floor everybody.” Is she part of that number? “Maybe,” she coyly answers.
Speaking of Jack, Megan says fans of Derek and Ivy shouldn’t get their hopes up about the couple’s long-term potential. “I think they’re good for each other for right now, but that’s it,” she tells us. “I don’t foresee a huge future for them.”
Of the finale, Christian says fans can expect “a fantastic new song,” which he says may be the show’s best yet, and “some nail-biting, down-to-the-last second drama, whether or not the show will actually even go on.” Messing adds, “It’s chock-full of surprises!”

Gossip Girl executive producer Josh Safran is set to take over showrunner duties from creator Theresa Rebeck in season two, and both of his leading ladies are quick to sing his praises!
“He’s fantastic, he’s passionate, he’s smart,” Messing gushes of Safran. “Theresa created an amazing show that we are so grateful to have and our amazing characters we love so much. She’s going to go do the plays that fulfill her so much. We have a seasoned person coming on who really knows the theatre and loves the theatre. I think that it’s going to be exciting.”
Megan adds, “I just met with Josh for the first time last week and he’s amazing. He’s got really great ideas and he really has a handle on all of these characters and a really great vision of where they should go. I’m really excited to come back.” And Josh, take note, Megan has a season two demand: “I’m hoping that [Ivy] gets a really good boyfriend in season two!”
“People who are passionate about this show are going to be very excited about what he’s bringing to it!” Christian also says of their new showrunner.
Finally, Megan addresses those “silly” rumors that she’s dating Jonas (who is set to return in tonight’s finale). “I may as well as be dating Jack or anyone else on my set,” she says. “He’s a good friend and that’s about it.” And there you have it, folks!
Smash‘s season finale airs tonight at 10 p.m. on NBC.
(E! and NBC are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)
To hear more from Debra, Christian and Megan, including why they think a midseason launch is actually a good thing for the show, watch our interviews with them above!

For those who follow me on Twitter and goEMAW, you know I’m transparent and rather more of an open book when it comes to my life. I can’t help it—I really can’t. I may be 27, but I feel I have the life experiences of an 80 year old. Where is this going you may be asking? Good question!
The movie Fever Pitch stars Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore, detailing how the couple fell in love the year the Red Sox won the World Series. What I like about the movie is Jimmy Fallon’s character, Ben Wrightman. Ben is a school teacher, obsessed with the Red Sox, who has had season tickets to the Red Sox ever since he was a young pup. He’s also had multiple failed relationships. Why? Because his obsession with the Red Sox is such that he schedules his life around the team.
Guess what? I’m totally that guy, and I’m not embarrassed to admit it.
I’ve had one “serious” relationship in my life and that was before I stepped foot on the campus at K-State. This comes as no surprise to me. I fell in love with that beauty of my school and dedicated my time to Kedzie Hall, Sports Radio, and Aggieville.
Here’s the truth: I care far more about the game at the end of the week, than I do going to your sister’s wedding. It’s true—I pick the game every time. Why wouldn’t you? Is there more of an endorphin-laden experience than a K-State gameday? For me, no.
There is a solution to keeping me (and other, similarly rabid K-State fans) around though, and here it is.
I’ve dated girls of all collegiate persuasions. Squawks, Shocks, Tigers, Bearcats, Golden Grizzlies (Oakland University), Cowgirls, Razorbacks, ect. You’re all cute, but damn you can be annoying! (I mean that lovingly, of course.) You just don’t get me. In that spirit, if you’re an “outsider”, and you want to date a Wildcat, here are some things you need to know.

The do’s and don’ts of dating a K-Stater:

1. No hanky panky during the game.
I don’t care if it’s an away game. More than likely you had your shot earlier in the day. I’m going to need a full glass of Bacardi and room to jump around frantically in the case of a Collin Klein Touchdown.
2. Don’t make plans for Valentine’s day.
Why, you may ask? K-State might be playing KU in the OOD (Octagon of Doom). What better way of showing my affection than screaming my lungs out in front of 12, 528 of my dearest friends? Suck it up and pretend to like it.
3. Don’t make me meet your Dad at a K-State football game.
What a horrible idea. Guess what? It’s the last game of the year vs. Iowa State. It’s not my job to entertain your dad, in an attempt to force him to fancy me. I’ve got a date with my red solo cup, Jim Beam, and the Chamber (Collin Klein) here in 3 hours. I need to stay focused.
4. Do compliment the dude wearing the natty light cowboy hat at the tailgate.
Listen, we both know he’s an idiot, he can’t help it. Give the guy a break.
5. Don’t walk in front of the washer boards.
My boys Dereck and Dave will cut you for less. This is a major party foul. Save yourself one of your nine lives.
6. Don’t be better than the Wabash.
You know you think it’s cool and you want to join. Start rocking or start walking. You make the call. I’ll scream “next!” faster than, well, someone who screams “next!” a lot.
7. Do compliment me on how pretty I look in Purple.
I don’t care if I’m a dude, I like to hear how nice I look, and how badass my Willie shirt is. In fact, while you’re at it, compliment my friends too.
8. Do enjoy Aggieville.I don’t care what school you went to. There’s nothing like this at your school, unless you’re Texas. I mean we’re in a small town in Kansas, yet sometimes I feel like I’m walking down Bourbon Street. Be impressed, DAMMIT!
9. Do ignore it if a bunch of girls say “hi” to me at the game.I was at K-State for 5 years, so… yeah. If you do the math, the chances are fairly high. Let your mind run wild—I’m Fanning, after all.

10. Do tell me how adorable our Basketball team is.I mean they’re freaking precious. That Shane Southwell smile gets me every time. Oh, and does your team have moves like Martavious or Will? I didn’t think so!

11. Do be my designated driver.

Remember when I picked you and your girlfriends up the other night when you were having a “Sex in the City” Marathon? Yeah, payback is a bitch.

12. Don’t mention the sheep bins by the stadium.
Yes, we all see them. Ignore them, I don’t need to be reminded how hickish we are.

13. Don’t complain about me being gone every weekend.

Get use to it, and enjoy your freedom from me. (I can only imagine how tiring it would be to date me.) Last year alone, I was in Miami, Dallas, and Pittsburgh for games. This might be a good time to prospect for other suitors in case things get rocky.

14. Don’t ever make a negative comment about Bill Snyder.
I don’t know how you could, but unless you want to be heckled, just shut your mouth. I will not back you up if this happens.

15. Finally, don’t ever tell me “they tried really hard, maybe next time” after a loss.

Seriously, I have dropped a girl for this. I need time to grieve, and you’re just pouring fuel on the flames of my grief. Give me some time–I’ll get my sh** together eventually.Listen people, I know I might be a bit of a special case when it comes to dating a K-Stater. Truth is, The Football season starts September 1. That’s the day before my birthday, so I just thought I’d give the next girl up a scouting report on me—and for dating like-minded K-State fans as well.As for me, and K-Staters like me, there are just a few choices: stay single, marry a K-Stater, or marry someone out of the family that can follow the rules. I’m the last one to carry the Fanning name, I’ve gotta make this count.

The dating game for single mums.

Getting back into the dating game is a much more complex affair for a single mum. What, when and how much to tell the kids are the big issues facing single mums looking for love. And the key, according to family relationships expert Sue Yorston, is taking it slowly.

STARTING TO DATE
Yorston, manager of Relationships Australia in Ballarat, says children don’t need to be told when mum decides to start looking for love again.She says it’s important for single mums to maintain their social networks and enjoy some time away from the children after a relationship split, so it should be normal for her to go out every once in a while. “The children don’t need to know lots of detail,” she says.

WHEN YOU’VE FOUND A KEEPER
Don’t tell the kids you’ve met someone special before you and your new man are sure you’re in it for the long haul, Yorston advises. “You need to be sure in your mind that this is the person you want in your life and you need to be sure that person is ready to take on children, accept the whole package,” she says.
“Don’t tell the kids until you’re sure of where that relationship is going but, when you do tell them, be as open and honest as you can be, relevant to their ages.
“Tell them this person is special, not just a mate, and that you’d really like them to meet him.”

TIME TO MEET THE KIDS
The next step is an actual meeting but again Yorston stresses the importance of not rushing mum’s new man into her children’s lives.She says kids suffer when their parents split. But they repair with nurturing, love and security.Introducing mum’s new love to them too soon can put them at risk of further pain.”If mum comes home and introduces someone, what’s she’s saying is ‘this person is OK, I like this person, I’m welcoming this person into the family and I want you to do the same’,” Yorston says.”So children can very easily become attached and then if it doesn’t work out between the adults they’ve got to go through that again.”Yorston says it’s a good idea to keep the initial meeting casual, such as over a coffee or a trip to the park with younger kids.The length and frequency of subsequent meetings should then slowly be increased.”Don’t expect everybody to sit down to a three-course dinner at the first meeting,” she says. “Conversation might be difficult, the kids might be embarrassed and you’re not quite sure what the reactions are going to be.”

TROUBLE SHOOTING
Yorston says it’s common for kids to fear mum is trying to replace their dad with her new man.The arrival of a new partner will also often shatter a child’s hope that their mum and dad will get back together.She says this comes back to how honest the parents have been with their children at the time of and since the separation.Children should be assured they are loved by both parents but also told that mum and dad can no longer live together and will not be reuniting.She says it’s also common for kids to be jealous of the new man in mum’s life, especially if they have had her to themselves for a long time.She recommends maintaining family rituals and slowly easing the new partner into them.”Kids are very intuitive. They will look at how this person treats their mum and how their mum reacts to this person,” Yorston says.