Archive for the ‘Dating game’ Category

To this day I don’t wear fur. Although I don’t have anything against people wearing it as I believe it’s totally a personal choice. There is, however, one thing about fur I can’t deny – it’s making a comeback, and in a major way. And perhaps this is why Naomi Campbell has started wearing it again a number of years after the campaign she starred in.

According to recent reports worldwide sales of fur went up in 2012 by over $1 billion compared to 2011, reaching a huge $15 billion. During London Fashion Week in February this year close to 200 designers used fur in their collections and approximately 500 designers, including Diane von Furstenberg, Yves Saint Laurent, Marni, Matthew Williamson and Roberto Cavalli, all use fur.

The popularity of fur is highlighted further by the likes of Kate Moss, Carine Roitfeld and Agyness Deyn, who have all been photographed wearing it. In fact, one could say that fur is now a regular front row guest in the world of fashion.

There is clearly plenty of support for fur in fashion, but there are also those who are strongly against its use. PETA are a key organization that speak out against the use of fur in fashion and runs campaigns against its use. I recently received this video from PETA about the use of fur in fashion.

Protests against the use of fur go well beyond online media and marketing; designers that have used fur in their collections have been targeted for doing so by anti fur campaigns for many years. In 2008 Donna Karan was targeted by animal rights campaigners who spray-painted the road outside her Hamptons home.

The dating game for single mums.

Getting back into the dating game is a much more complex affair for a single mum. What, when and how much to tell the kids are the big issues facing single mums looking for love. And the key, according to family relationships expert Sue Yorston, is taking it slowly.

STARTING TO DATE
Yorston, manager of Relationships Australia in Ballarat, says children don’t need to be told when mum decides to start looking for love again.She says it’s important for single mums to maintain their social networks and enjoy some time away from the children after a relationship split, so it should be normal for her to go out every once in a while. “The children don’t need to know lots of detail,” she says.

WHEN YOU’VE FOUND A KEEPER
Don’t tell the kids you’ve met someone special before you and your new man are sure you’re in it for the long haul, Yorston advises. “You need to be sure in your mind that this is the person you want in your life and you need to be sure that person is ready to take on children, accept the whole package,” she says.
“Don’t tell the kids until you’re sure of where that relationship is going but, when you do tell them, be as open and honest as you can be, relevant to their ages.
“Tell them this person is special, not just a mate, and that you’d really like them to meet him.”

TIME TO MEET THE KIDS
The next step is an actual meeting but again Yorston stresses the importance of not rushing mum’s new man into her children’s lives.She says kids suffer when their parents split. But they repair with nurturing, love and security.Introducing mum’s new love to them too soon can put them at risk of further pain.”If mum comes home and introduces someone, what’s she’s saying is ‘this person is OK, I like this person, I’m welcoming this person into the family and I want you to do the same’,” Yorston says.”So children can very easily become attached and then if it doesn’t work out between the adults they’ve got to go through that again.”Yorston says it’s a good idea to keep the initial meeting casual, such as over a coffee or a trip to the park with younger kids.The length and frequency of subsequent meetings should then slowly be increased.”Don’t expect everybody to sit down to a three-course dinner at the first meeting,” she says. “Conversation might be difficult, the kids might be embarrassed and you’re not quite sure what the reactions are going to be.”

TROUBLE SHOOTING
Yorston says it’s common for kids to fear mum is trying to replace their dad with her new man.The arrival of a new partner will also often shatter a child’s hope that their mum and dad will get back together.She says this comes back to how honest the parents have been with their children at the time of and since the separation.Children should be assured they are loved by both parents but also told that mum and dad can no longer live together and will not be reuniting.She says it’s also common for kids to be jealous of the new man in mum’s life, especially if they have had her to themselves for a long time.She recommends maintaining family rituals and slowly easing the new partner into them.”Kids are very intuitive. They will look at how this person treats their mum and how their mum reacts to this person,” Yorston says.